Frequently Asked Questions

+ How much does therapy cost and how long are the sessions?

When you work with me, you’re investing in a therapist with specialty training and education in working with couples and individuals. I only see a limited number of clients in my practice in order to give you the care and attention you deserve.

Seeing only a select number of clients allows me to tailor my approach specifically to you, as well as keep up to date with the latest information in the field of therapy. On days where I am not seeing clients, I can be found reading, listening to popular podcast, and taking online trainings to expand my skills -- I am a sucker for learning.

My rates are as follows:

✦ Individual Therapy Session (50 minutes): $175

✦ Couples Therapy – Initial Intake Session (2 hours): $350

✦ Couples Therapy – Ongoing Sessions (1.5 hours): $275

✦ Discernment Counseling – Initial Intake Session (2 hours): $350

✦ Discernment Counseling – Ongoing Sessions (1.5hours): $275

✦ Weekend Intensive Couples Therapy (approximately 14 hours total): please contact for current rate

+ Do you accept insurance?

No, I don’t.

Here’s the thing: I get it. Most people want to use their insurance whenever they can. I do too! But, I’ve intentionally chosen not to accept insurance. This is because insurance companies:

• Dictate how many sessions a client is allowed in a given period of time.
• Usually allow no more than one 45-minute session per week.
• Require the client be given a mental health diagnosis and treatment must be deemed “medically necessary”.
• Often request confidential client information and there’s no guarantee how this medical information could be used in the future.
• Have low reimbursement rates and frequently deny claims (especially couples therapy).

In order to make sure I’m able to give each and every client my all, I am a private pay practice.

What this means for you is that as your therapist, I’ll be:

• Alert, engaged, and happy to see you each session.
• Able to remember the details of our sessions and track our work together since I only accept a small caseload.
• Invested in your growth because I’ve taken the time to do the same for myself.
• Able to maintain your privacy without worrying about insurance companies prying.
• Free to work with you as long and as often as you need.

+ How quickly can I get in to see you?

Honest answer: it depends on your schedule and flexibility.

I do my best to fit you in as soon as possible. Typically, I’m able to schedule new individual clients within two weeks.

I know how hard it can be to make the time for therapy.

For my part, I promise to bring my absolute A-game and make it worth your while. Working with motivated clients is one of the greatest joys of my job, and if you’re all in – I’m all in with you.

Send me a message to get started with scheduling an appointment.

+ Do I need to be in a relationship for this work to be helpful?

Absolutely not! You don’t need to be in a relationship in order to work with me. In fact, some of my best work has been with clients who are recently divorced or single and wanting to work on themselves before entering another relationship. Other clients chose to work with me because of my Family Therapy background and are looking for help with family relationships.

+ What if I change but my partner doesn't - won't we still have the same problems?

Ah... a common question I get from individual clients who are concerned that individual therapy will not help their relationship. And, this is not an easy question to answer I might add.

I promise to answer this question, but before I do, I first want to unpack the question itself (typical therapist response, eh?):

What I really hear underneath this question is a need for certainty to cope with the inevitable fear and anxiety that prompted this question in the first place.

Fear: “What if I take the time to work on myself and make all these important changes and it doesn’t have an impact on my relationship?”

Which will be followed by…

Anxiety: “What do I do then???”

Yeah... ain’t that a b*tch to grapple with?

If you find yourself in this place, you’ll be left with two options:

1. Revert back to the old way of doing things or
2. Maintain the changes and see what happens

And the determining factor between which option you choose will be your ability to hold on to this new version of your Self in the face of your partner’s resistance, protest, or objection. Can you stay in your integrity and have the patience and strength to tolerate the tension between the two of you? Can you resist the emotional contagion of your partner if they attempt to draw you back into old patterns and dynamics? Can you hang in there and maintain your solid self as your partner works through their “stuff”?

This is the arena where you’ll get to put into practice all that you have learned in individual therapy, which is to:

• Let go of the fear that you being open and honest will collapse your relationship
• Overcome the desire to please others and smooth things over at the expense of your truth
• Bring up hard topics and not shove them underground for fear of what your partner will say/do
• Identify what you would like to have happen rather than focusing on what your partner should do about it
• Listen to your partner’s truths without taking them personally
• Anticipate strong reactions from your partner and know that you can handle it

So, I promised to answer the original question: “What if I change but my partner doesn't - won't we still have the same problems?”

Here’s my best answer:

First off, we can’t ignore the fact that we don’t live in a vacuum all by ourselves. We live in a world where what we do affects others and what others do affects us. Think of it like a feedback loop. As you do X, it will cause your partner to do Y, which will in turn cause you to do Z, and so on and so forth. Simply put, a change in YOU, will likely affect a change in your partner. That movement will hopefully lead to some positive changes and get the ball rolling in the right direction. Remember, we’re all on our own path. Your partner may not change at the same time or speed as you. Can you accept that reality, hang in there, and give them a chance? In my 10+ years of clinical experience working with couples, I can confidently say if you give your partner or person in your life a chance to rise with you, they likely will.

Secondly, if you truly maintain your positive changes over time and your relationship continues to suffer, I’d say it’s time to start couples therapy. Keep showing up as the partner you aspire to be, even in the face of relational tension, because that is your best chance at making the relationship work. And, if you’ve reached a point where you’re unsure about staying in the relationship, seek out individual support or explore working with a Certified Discernment Counselor who can help you and your partner get clear on what direction your relationship is headed.

+ Can we do individual AND couples therapy with you?

Short answer: no.

I can do either individual or couples counseling with you, but not both.

The reason for this is that it can create a conflict – especially with confidentiality.

Having said that, the benefits of each type of therapy do overlap. Individual therapy can help you be more present and secure in your relationships. And couples counseling can lead to big strides in personal growth.

To sum up: both individual and couples counseling are incredibly beneficial. However, I can only work with you one-on-one or as a couple.

+ I tried therapy in the past and it didn't help. How are you different?

I get it – seeing a therapist and not having it make any real difference is incredibly discouraging.

Working with me is a different experience than what you’ve had before, for a few reasons.

1. I’m a Gottman Certified Therapist. My approach to supporting individuals within the context of their relationships is more organized than most, using science-based techniques developed from over 40 years of research.

2. I’m a Certified Neurodiverse Couples Therapist. This means I can pick up on what other therapists can’t. Many of my clients come to me feeling hopeless and discouraged after trying therapy before (sometimes several times) without it helping. I help you uncover patterns and recurrent themes that offer clarity about why you’re struggling with particular issues. You’ll be able to see your relationship clearly, and things you’ve been struggling with for years will start to fall into place and finally make sense. And this is where real change can start to occur.

3. I’m not your typical therapist. As I see it, you’re paying me to be more than a passive bystander. You are coming to me because you need someone by your side who will roll up her sleeves and support the hard work that is needed from you to improve your life situation. If you’re looking for a therapist who: will actively engage with you, be curious about you and have a vested intersted in geniuely understanding you, will encourage you to look in the mirror and take responsibility for your life, and will give honest feeback, then I’m the right fit for you. While I can’t tell you how to run your life, I can give you science-based tools for strengthening yourself and your relationship. And I don’t pull any punches. With me, you not only get empathy, but honesty as well. This means instead of going around in the same circles over and over again, you’ll be able to see real progress.

I’m fiercely dedicated to making your experience with me the best counseling experience you’ll ever have. If this sounds like a good fit for you, send me a message to get started.

+ Will my sessions be in-person or online?

My therapy practice is a Telehealth practice which means I meet with all of my clients virtually. I use Zoom, which is a secure video platform, and is HIPAA compliant.

As a result of the pandemic, I’m sure most of us by now are familiar with virtual meetings. If you haven’t used Zoom before, it’s extremely user-friendly. Here’s the way it works:

• You schedule a session with me.
• A day before your session, you’ll receive an email reminder with the link to our meeting.
• When it’s time for our session, just click on that link to join the call (it’s best if you download the Zoom app).
• If you’re early, you might see a notification saying you’ve been placed in the “waiting room” – that’s ok! Hang tight.
• When it’s time for our session to start I’ll bring you into my “virtual office” – you don’t have to do anything.

Zoom calls work best if you’re in a quiet, well-lit place with a good internet connection.

That being said, don’t feel like you need to tidy up your house or lock your dogs in another room or anything like that. One of the benefits of online therapy is that I get a glimpse of what “real life” is like for you – including interruptions from kids, dogs, and anything else. In fact, don't be surprised if you see one or two of my own dogs pop in to say hello.

If we end up having trouble with Zoom for whatever reason we can always switch to talking on the phone, or re-schedule the appointment if that works best for you.

+ How do I know which type of therapy is right for me?

I recommend checking out each of the pages that have more information on the different types of counseling I offer (individual therapy, couples therapy, discernment counseling, intensive retreats), and see which one resonates with you the most.

A couple of things to consider:

1. Many people I’ve talked with think that weekend intensives are only for relationships that are “really in trouble.” They’re not! This style of intensive therapy isn’t reserved for couples on the brink of divorce – it can be extremely effective in keeping you away from the brink of separation in the first place.

2. A weekend intensive session is pretty much the equivalent of six months of therapy. Really! These sessions aren’t easy by any means (the word ‘intense’ is in there for a reason), but the payoff is huge. Even if it takes a couple of weeks to be able to schedule a weekend intensive, many couples find it suits their needs better than more traditional weekly sessions.

If you’re still not sure which approach is best for you, feel free to reach out.

+ Do you work with members of the LGBTQIA+ community?

Yes, I work with all genders and all forms of committed relationships and people who are not in a relationship as well.

+ Do you ONLY offer therapy in Florida?

No! I am also licensed to practice in the states of New York and Vermont. So, I can work with clients who are in any of these three states and only these three states.

Because, here’s the thing...

State licensing laws only permit me to work with clients in the states I hold an active license. I know, I know...with therapy being conducted online a lot more now post-COVID, you would think this would have changed and states would be more flexible about where your therapist is located. BUT, this is the way it is for now.

The good news is: you now don’t have to live near Naples, FL to work with me! As long as you’re in the state of Florida, New York, or Vermont I can see you. And I must tell you, I’ve really enjoyed working with clients in different parts of my home state and New York. I have strong ties to the St. Petersburg/Tampa Bay area as well as Long Island, so a virtual connection to those places is a bonus.

+ What’s the big deal about being a Certified Gottman Therapist? I know lots of counselors who have "Gottman training".

There are only a handful of Certified Gottman Therapists in Florida. The big deal is … becoming a Certified Gottman Therapist is a rigorous process which includes:

• Completing Gottman Training Levels 1-3, including several workshops with Drs. John and Julie Gottman in person (and yes, I’m totally name-dropping here).
• Completing the additional Gottman training in affairs, trauma, and addiction recovery.
• Having a minimum of 1000 hours of post-graduate therapy experience.
• Completing a minimum of 100 hours of Gottman therapy, under the supervision of an experienced Gottman therapist.
• Submitting video footage of my actual therapy sessions to be evaluated by a Master Gottman Trainer who then determined my proficiency in using the Gottman Method.

A lot of therapists who talk about having “Gottman training” have only taken Level 1 Gottman training. While any level of Gottman training is helpful, training and certification are quite different.

So what does all of this mean for you?

Working with a Certified Gottman Therapist (me), means you’re not just getting my opinion about how to improve your relationship. You’ll be learning science-based techniques to help you:

• Handle conflict constructively.
• Improve intimacy, respect, and affection.
• Foster ongoing curiosity about your partner.

I'll teach you the concrete tools you need to target your specific issues. The Gottman Method is so much more than just another certification – it’s about helping you make life-changing progress you can take in any and all relationships you have.

+ What does it mean to be an AANE Certified Neurodiverse Couples Therapist?

The Asperger/Autism Network (AANE) is the governing body that offers certification as a Neurodiverse Couples Therapist.

The process for certification involves:

• An introductory course and a certification course
• Over 10 hours of training online
• Hands-on learning from the experiences of many neurodiverse couples
• Group consultation facilitated by AANE’s Director of The Neurodiverse Couples Institute
• Case presentations and discussions on best practices when working with Neurodiverse couples

One of my biggest take-aways from this training and certification is that, when it really comes down to it, we’re all neurodiverse. It’s really just a matter of degrees.

Coming from that perspective, my AANE certification is not only helpful to my clients who have been diagnosed, officially or unofficially, as being on the Asperger/Autism spectrum, but also to any client who falls under the umbrella of neurodiversity.

+ What does LMFT stand for?

LMFT stands for Licenced Marriage and Family Therapist.

I graduated from the University of Florida in 2013 with dual degrees:

• A Specialist in Education (Ed.S.)
• A Master’s in Education (M.Ed.) in Marriage and Family Therapy

So really, all those letters just mean I've been through a bunch of schooling and I've got the tools to help you improve your life and your relationship.

+ Where did you go to undergrad?

I graduated from Eckerd College Summa Cum Lade in 2011 with a double major in Human Development and Communications.

+ I am a current client, how can I access my client portal and the online scheduler?

Super easy: here’s the link: https://rebecca-lanier.clientsecure.me/.

Just click that and then log in to access your personal portal.